Sauce sauce sauce.
Post Malone. Hip-Hop artist from Dallas, Texas. He indulges in the styles of R&B or cloud rap or whatever the hell we’re calling it these days.
He caught a lot of buzz in 2015 with the release of his hit single “White Iverson”. A pretty smooth and low key track in terms of sound and a pretty basic track in terms of lyrics. Between the release of “White Iverson” and this here mixtape, Post Malone has released a couple tracks and collaborated with big artists such as Kanye West and 50 Cent, but never did he release a full project…until now.
I would describe Post Malone as like… the lovechild of Kevin Federline and Paul Wall who was born at sea in the waves of Future and raised on a vegan diet by Riff Raff. Not a pretty picture, amirite?
Nevertheless, Posty here has just as much potential as any other artist does to drop a solid project and we (me) here at nappyafro decided to give him a shot.
Let’s get into it.
1. Never Understand
Featuring Larry June; Produced by FKi & Post Malone
Not so good of a start. Getting through this track was a chore for me honestly. Took my 10 minutes to realize I was just starting at a wall after this shit was over. The crooning is just lazy and the beat is meh at best.
Not sure who this Larry June guy is, but… yeah… not sure who he is.
2. Money Made Me Do It
Featuring 2 Chainz; Produced by FKi & Post Malone
Yeah, R.I.P. Bankroll Fresh. Condolences.
This song though… meh. Production is more upbeat than the last track which is a plus. The 2 Chainz feature isn’t really special or anything. I guess the thing he adds here is that he’s a more familiar and comfortable voice. That’s about it though.
Posty here just gives shouts to the late Bankroll Fresh on the hook and then goes to rap about how he made a million before getting a deal. Nothing too new in this arena. I’m probably not gonna listen to this ever again.
Last thing though… I’m gonna need Post to never do that crooning shit he was doing on the last 30 seconds of this track ever again.
3. Git Wit U
Produced by Louis Bell
This track just feels like a Future impersonation. Post Malone’s voice on this type of beat doesn’t really work for me. Nah, not feeling it. It isn’t terrible, but there’s just nothing really exciting about it. Just feels like I’ve heard it before, but better.
4. God Damn
Featuring 1st; Produced by FKi & Charlie Handsome
Eh, it’s not terrible. It’s not really that good though. If this gets played at a party or when I’m riding around I won’t be mad at it. I don’t know who 1st is, but his flow kinda reminded me of Juicy J a bit. It’s a meh track for me.
5. Fuck
Featuring Jeremih; Produced by FKi
Jeremih is so far the best thing about this tape. His voice over this production just fits pretty well.
Pastry Malone doesn’t really boost the track, but he doesn’t tear it down either. He’s just there, which is a good thing compared to what’s been endured so far throughout the album.
Seriously though, Post Malone has got to stop trying to stretch notes or whatever it is he’s doing. That whole voice breaking thing he did at the end of this track was not good and never could be.
Overall, this is a highlight compared to everything else.
6. 40 Funk
Produced by FKi & Makonnen
Post Malone has said he’s Allen Iverson, Kyrie Irving, Michael Jordan, and Monta Ellis. I’m sure you’re expecting me to say something about how all these players are Black and how Post Malone is white, right? Nope. We just dominate the sport in skills and numbers.
Now, as far as this track goes musically… I’m not feeling it. It’s probably good background music, but you’ll never catch me playing this by choice. You might catch me 360 spin slam dunking it in the recycle bin though.
Also, Posty… once again…chill on trying to stretch a high note.
7. Monte
Featuring Lil’ Yachty; Produced by Cashio
It’s catchy.
The beat has some nice bass to it. Post Malone crooning about being another Black basketball player doesn’t make me wan’t to scream internally. And the Yachty verse… it’s not that long.
8. Hollywood Dreams/Comedown
Produced by FKi & Louis Bell
Nah man, what the fuck is this… This shit came on and I thought I went into some Nissan ad or that I accidentally clicked another song by another artist. But nope. This man seriously put a remix he made of Fleetwood Mac’s track “Dreams” on this tape. Yes. Fleetwood Mac. The classic blues/pop rock band.
I mean, this isn’t even terrible honestly. Or is it?
Post Malone’s voice is okay here, but this shit just feels mad unnecessary. So by default, not fucking with it. This shit doesn’t fit anywhere on this mixtape at all.
There’s a second half to this song and it’s honestly nothing I haven’t already heard on this tape so… what do you want me to say?
9. Lonely
Featuring Jaden Smith & Teo; Produced by FKi & Post Malone
I just….cannot….I just….I just cannot…I just…cannot…I just…I JUUUUUST….cannot….I just…I JUST WANT TO BE THROUGH. Damn.
10. Oh God
Produced by Post Malone & Rex Rudo
Post Malone singing and whistling over an acoustic guitar? Nah, I’m good.
Yeah I think we’re done here.
So, I’m sure Post Malone is a nice guy. I’ve seen his interviews. He seems like a calm and peaceful guy when he’s not choking out Justin Bieber. Check out that interview he did on The Breakfast Club. He did a good job at keeping his cool there. (It’s pretty funny too.)
All that aside though, I’m not fucking with this. I mean, I thought Post Malone was gonna bring something new to this style, but it’s pretty much just a voice that isn’t really that distinct over beats that I feel like I’ve heard before.
Lyrically, I wasn’t expecting Elzhi or Jay Electronica bars or anything close to that. (I don’t even think Post defines himself as being just a rapper.)
Post Malone doesn’t really drop any lines that just standout to me as “DEAR GOD THIS IS TERRIBLE”, but his lines really aren’t that interesting and it isn’t delivered in any sort of unique way that would make me even give it a pass.
The features aren’t really memorable besides Jeremih and the production and melodies are just very mediocre or generically bad throughout. And man… that Fleetwood Mac track.
This tape just feels like the equivalent to watching a goldfish swim around in its bowl for thirty plus minutes. And like a goldfish… once it’s done… I just flush it.
But if you like Post Malone and you aren’t really looking for anything too deep and you just want something to maybe play in the background or ride to or bump at a party then check this shit out.
For me though… I can’t get jiggy with this shit. I can’t cook bacon and eggs to this shit. I can’t drink a vegan smoothie and read Osho to this shit. I can’t get high with Craig on a Friday to this shit. I can’t ride and hit licks to this shit. I just can’t with this shit.
#WhereIsFrank ?
