Kanye West
Alternative profession: Motivational Speaker
Despite his voice being a little hard to handle these days (see Kris Jenner’s interview with West) or his rants running a little overtime, Mr. West would put arses in seats to hear him talk.
I mean, he kind of already does anyway with close to every show he does having an intermission of ranting about whatever or whoever he’s not feeling at that moment then turn around and rant his way out of that controversy.
Kanye could visit the college he dropped out of to motivate kids to do the same. Talks about women’s empowerment could end with a surprise visit from Big Sean who would perform “Dance (A$$)“.
The man’s contradictions would allow him the ability to talk to any audience regardless if they believe him or not.
Back up profession: South Park‘s version of Johnnie Cochran.