It has been difficult to muster up the energy to write music this year, let alone write ABOUT music. Maybe it has to do with spending most of my energy on marrying the love of my life, or not being in a space to go that much into depth as a lot of my content touches on personal stuff, or perhaps just wanting to enjoy music rather than make it. Nut outside of playlists of songs that soundtracked very important moments of my life, I haven’t enjoyed much of what’s come out this year. So, if there is one thing I know I will get enjoyment out of, it’s this…
Roasting the hell out of a Drake album.
Let’s face it, Aubrey has been on auto pilot for years now and why would I expect this to be any different. So let’s start what will be stepping into the abyss that is a 23-track project from Mr. Cry In the Pussy himself called For All The Dogs.
1. Virginia Beach
Produced by 40 & Harley Arsenault
The first couple of times I heard this, was such a slog to get through. I tolerate this song more than I did the first couple of listens, however. His verse in the second half is a better listen now (even with that WWW line, it is Drake after all.) The singing still gets on my nerves, mainly because this is just something we’ve heard before. But I should know better because… we got a long way to go with this album. I need to figure out what song he sample (Editor’s Note: “Wise Man” by Frank Ocean)
2. Amen
Featuring Teezo Touchdown; Produced by Sango, Budgie Beats, & Teezo Touchdown
Teezo Touchdown is one of the MVP’s for this album (and his latest project isn’t bad at all either, check it out when you can.) His chorus has been stuck in my head since the album release.
3. Calling For You
Featuring 21 Savage; Produced by Lil Yachty, PoWR Trav, Jaystolaa, 40, Gentuar Memishi, Glyn Brown, & Cash Cobain
Drake is the least interesting part of this song. Same goes for 21 Savage. However, the award for most interesting part goes to whoever this girl is complaining about jerk chicken and oxtail…for all the wrong reasons. However, this Her Loss leftover, leaves the impression as we will later see come to fruition on the album, is Drake is starting to become the old guy in the club.
4. Fear of Heights
Produced by OZ, Nik D, Pooh Beatz, xynothing, & BNYX®
Editor’s Note: MTHFKA Jones skipped this song in the review. (I don’t think it was by accident) This was the song Drake supposedly sneak dissed Rihanna on or something.
5. Daylight
Produced by Southside, Smatt Sertified, T9C, & Lil E$$o
I’m not gonna roast someone’s five year old son, so outside of that, I’ll give it this, this song actually has energy to it. There’s nothing that really stands out, but at least it isn’t audio AIDS.
6. First Person Shooter
Featuring J. Cole; Produced by Coleman, Vinylz, Tay Keith, Boi-1da, FNZ, & OZ
Aubrey knew better not to compete with Cole on this track, because the beat switches into a little something more menacing so he could do his best DMX impression naming every woman under the sun. It’s funny he noted that he was one away from Michael. As of me writing this, he may have even surpassed Michael and this was the song that did it. Fact check this please.
7. IDGAF
Featuring Yeat; Produced by BNYX® & Sebastian Shah
Maybe it’s age, maybe it’s taste, maybe it’s something, but I really don’t get Yeat. However, for some reason… I don’t mind this song. Maybe, that has to do more with this feeling more like a Yeat song where Drake just plays the background, that way it plays more to Yeat’s strengths rather than exploit Drake’s weaknesses on songs like these.
8. 7969 Santa
Produced by Nyan, Alex Lustig, Jahaan Sweet, & BNYX®
Drake gets on here and does what Drake does. Come to think of it, I completely ignored this song until Teezo Touchdown reemerged for this Snoop-endorsed interlude. Outside of that, Drake is being a bitch as usual.
9. Slime You Out
Featuring SZA; Produced by BNYX®, Grant Lapointe, Noel Cadastre, 40, & D10
As someone who grew up on gangsta rap, this is way too misogynistic for me these days as a 37 year old married man. The first time I heard this, it just didn’t feel like “Drake first single” material and listening back a couple more times, it not only makes things worst now, but also exposes what I don’t like about SZA’s music for the most part. Either that or I haven’t listened to CTRL or SOS that hard enough. It’s a pass for me with this one.
10. Bahamas Promises
Produced by Jahaan Sweet & Ray “Quasi” Nelson
You put the “no” in monogamy.
Next.
11. Tried Our Best
Produced by Jahaan Sweet & 40
I’ll cater to you girl, but late night, you a terrorist
I swear to God, you think I’m Shakespeare
That’s why you always wanna play right?
There is a difference between being clever and being corny. Even 2010s Eminem isn’t this cringe.
NEXT.
12. Screw the World (Interlude)
Produced by DJ Screw
I don’t rate interludes here.
13. Drew a Picasso
Produced by Young Troy, Tommy Parker, SAUCEboy, TheBoyKam, Dnny Phntm, 40, & Eli Brown
I cannot with these bars yo…
Movin like Snoopy and Charlie Brown
Feel like you tryna dog the kid
At least he knows not to judge his significant other for listening to child molesters in the car. If the rest of the world was as progressive, we’d be getting somewhere.
14. Members Only
Featuring PARTYNEXTDOOR; Produced by Stwo & 40
Both coming at the same time like “Jinx”
Yeah that’s enough of that, gangy…
15. What Would Pluto Do
Produced by Lil Yachty, Bangs, BNYX®, & Gentuar Memishi
Girl I wanna slide in yo box like a vote
I know you are wondering why I am posting these lyrics instead of my usual in-depth analysis/roasting of albums like this. I would love nothing more just to enjoy the songs at face value, take in the aesthetic and let it be that. Here’s the problem…
It’s lines like that…where Drake won’t let me enjoy it.
16. All the Parties
Featuring Chief Keef; Produced by BNYX®, Coleman, Boi-1da, Fierce, Maneesh, Harley Arsenault, & Jdolla
Chief Keef’s presence is very minimal with his A Boogie “Drowning” flow, but even then, it just feels like a filler song on an album that already has SO much filler to it.
17. 8AM in Charlotte
Produced by Conductor Williams, Mario Luciano, & Jason Wool
Finally another song that I like. Though I think this one is in the lower half of his timestamp series and there’s a couple of corny bars here (i.e. the Jordan Peele/orange peel line) but I’ll take this over a lot of what has been here so far. Hell, I’ll take what I can get at this point.
I will say this though. That line about “me versus whoever wanna lose”… you lost that privilege a LONG time ago.
18. BBL Love (Interlude)
Produced by Kid Masterpiece
HE IS SO LUCKY I AM NOT SCORING INTERLUDES!!!
(Also, my dog barked as soon as the dogs started barking on the track. Fuck you Drake for making my dog bark.)
19. Gently
Featuring Bad Bunny; Produced by OZ, Nik D, & Gordo
Let me just start off by saying this. I am grouping these songs together, because I don’t have the energy to say more negative things about this album. This album is straight garbage. With these two songs, not only do I have to endure Drake attempting Spanish but the next track I have Sexyy Red…
A song that is laughably bad (mainly due to Drake) and a song that is just not for me.
That sums up most of this album.
20. Rich Baby Daddy
Featuring Sexyy Red & SZA; Produced by Gordo, Klahr, LIOHN, BNYX®, TheLoudPack, UV Killin Em, & Dougie F
Editor’s Note: See song above
21. Another Late Night
Featuring Lil Yachty; Produced by ChildBoy & Lil Yachty
You know, I hear a song like this and makes me wonder… y’all really overrated that Lil Yachty album this year. Maybe I should revisit it and review it for here. Or maybe I should just review underground stuff for the site again, I don’t know man, anything but this bullshit.
22. Away from Home
Produced by BNYX®, SADPONY, Justin Raisen, Fluxury, Lucas Levine, & Lil Yachty
I stopped paying attention a long time ago.
23. Polar Opposites
Produced by Lil Yachty, Anthoine Walters, Beatmenace, 40, Gentuar Memishi, & Bangs
NIGGA WE MADE IT!
Remember, when Drake made anthems???
You know, I wanted to review this album, knowing how I been feeling about listening to music this year (at least contemporary Hip-Hop). The closest I got to that, from a mainstream perspective, was Utopia. I understand that Drake has been phoning it in since Views, but never did I EVER think that it would be THIS BAD.
It was going through this album that let me know, that it is just time to let Drake go. Drake is at a point where he doesn’t have to try. Drake is at a level of notoriety and popularity, that giving us an album that showed he actually put effort into his performances, would be a step backwards.
Because let’s be honest, what does giving us effort really mean for a superstar like Drake? More rapping? Mature content? I don’t know. What makes it even more perplexing is that his age, Drake doesn’t even know. The money? The fame? The doomed relationships? The non-starter beefs that HE HIMSELF lays to rest? All I know is, Drake got rich, stopped trying and in return, we the fans, get yet another frisbee to throw out our window. Yet, they don’t make CDs anymore, so slam dunk in the recycle bin this one goes.
