WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CONTENT CONTAINS A DISCUSSION OF A BEVERAGE THAT MAY ONE DAY BECOME ABSOLUTELY OBSOLETE. PLEASE READ RESPONSIBLY.
What’s current, folks? At this point…I’d like to take a pause for the cause….As of this writing, the beverage that could be described as a ‘Beautiful, Dark, Twisted, Fantasy in a can,’ Four Loko, is legal even in a wack place like Delaware, my home state. Bureaucrats and pressure groups, however, have already pushed to have the alcohol, caffeine, taurine, and guarana mixed concoction prohibited on college and university campuses and even entire states, the latest being New York. In a reflection of our grim era ruled by statism, the creators, Phusion Projects, have acceded to public opinion by planning to develop a caffeine, taurine, and guarana-free formula (!).
Yet, until the drink makers alter the original ingredients or unthinking mobs and politicians see to it that the intoxicant is barred altogether, I’d like to pass around a few select tracks that express a genuine affinity for the sweet potion.
Now, I serve to you good people The Top Four Rap Songs About Four Loko. Cheers! Scream at me!
4. Gwop Gang – “Four Loko”
Potent Potable Rhyme Quotable: “The gwop, yeah, we gotta ball/ 24 ounce[s], 12 percent straight alcohol.” (0:39 mark)
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3. Fese – “Four Loko”
Potent Potable Rhyme Quotable: “I ain’t got a lot of doe/ Liquor store closed/ I know what to do/ Get a Loko!” (0:58 mark)
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2. Chocolate City feat. K. Nobles – “Four Loko”
Potent Potable Rhyme Quotable: “Get me gizzlin’ and sizzlin’/ Got me laughin’ and gigglin’/ (Laughs) Oh, I think I’m really feelin’ it.” (3:54 mark)
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1. Ricosuave – “So Loko (4 Loko Anthem)”
Potent Potable Rhyme Quotable: “I know Jesus turned water into wine/But he would have turned it to Four Loko at a party of mine.” (2:29 mark)
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