Once again your boy B-Easy watched the MTV VMA’s this year (Still without cable) and once again I will give a recap of what wasn’t a terrible award’s show this year. Laptop with a good illegal stream? Check. Twitter page open? Check. Torrents in the background downloading Breaking Bad, Entourage, & True Blood? Triple Check Let’s go:
Before the VMA’s even started, the world was hit with a bombshell at the pre-show: Beyonce announced she was pregnant. She obviously finally listened to “New Day” off Watch The Throne. Hottest womb in the game.
Lady Gaga opened the show as Ralph MacchioGentleman GagaJo Calderone and performed “You And I”. She didn’t drop character for the rest of the night.
Kevin Hart acted like he had the opening monologue the host usually gets but since the VMA’s had no host this year, it wasn’t. He would have been the first person to host the BET Awards AND the VMA’s in one year. Damn.
Nicki Minaj‘s “Super Bass” win Best Hip-Hop Video? Huh? Then again, “Look At Me Now” & “The Show Goes On” was also nominated, so whatever. Nicki also gave a shoutout to Weezy calling him “The Greatest Rapper Alive”.
Katy Perry & Kanye West win Best Collaboration Video with “E.T.”. Kanye explained to Katie that this wasn’t his first Moonman.
Pitbull & Ne-Yo Perform “Give Me Everything”
I’ve never heard this song in my life nor do I co-sign this techno/Jersey Shore shit. But since Lindsay Lohan suing him over it, I had to post it. Plus, some of the backup dancers were kinda thick.
Adele – “Someone Like You”
I fucks with Adele.
Kim Kardashian presents Justin Bieber the Best Male Video Award for “U Smile.” Isn’t she suppose to be on a honeymoon or some shit? Media. Whore.
Chris Brown – “Yeah 3X”/”Beautiful People”
Breezy came out in all white, sprinkled in some Nirvana & Wu Tang, and shitted on Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark. Good job.
Gentleman Gaga returned to give Britney Spears the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award (Wait. Isn’t Britney Spears like 29?). Britney & Gaga almost kissed and then introduced Beyonce.
Beyonce – “Love On Top”
Baby in the womb or not, Beyonce killed it. She even undid her jacket and rubbed her belly at end. Jay-Z is a proud poppa. See: